Dear Mr. Dobrow,
I've had a tough life. My father never hugged me. My mother is
sleeping with the Sweet Angels Above, or whatever her gang from the
work-release program is calling itself nowadays. I have no hearing in
my left ear and was recently diagnosed with a mutated strain of
scurvy.
Also, I'm a Pittsburgh Pirates fan.
The Pirates have been pretty down in recent seasons, but I just know
they're going to turn it around soon -- hopefully by the time I move
up on the kidney transplant list. They won 75 games as recently as
2003, so a 78-win season can't be far behind. When I close my eyes
really hard and think happy thoughts to block out the yelling and the
bad people and the voice in my head that says to burn things, I see
the Pirates joyfully celebrating on the mound, basking in the glory of
finishing a game over .500.
It's so very cold in the orphanage tonight.
My pencil is down to a nub and I still haven't written my letter
asking Santa for a washcloth. So please, Mr. Dobrow, won't you propose
a course of action that will save my beloved Pirates?
Your friend,
Timmy
P.S. Merry Christmas! Unless, you're Jewish or Muslim!
http://cbs.sportsline.com/mlb/story/10544458/rss
FAQ
Profile
Private Messages
Log in
