Idea for an Onion Article

On Oct 25, 10:13 am, "BobInBoulder" <b... DeleteThis @noneofyourbusiness.com>
wrote:
> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>


Actually, the Onion has already done a great article with a similar
theme: a classic piece.

"You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats
The Sports Team From Your Area"

As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up this weekend.
I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals
and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is
high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports
team from my area defeats the sports team from your area. ...

When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be
treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy
for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many
reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of
the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are
just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your
area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have
these traits in abundance.

If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my
area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two
sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more
spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding
than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters
of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and
figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have
observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's
magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too
unattractive to do so.

One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the
fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for
it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and
affection in individuals who live in many other geographic
locations. ...


http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33426

"You will suffer humiliation when....." <g>
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"BobInBoulder" <binb.RemoveThis@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com...
> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>
> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part of a
> week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior in
> activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed 30-year old
> living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun in 4-years but
> has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the superhighway, asbbr
> members, most of whom do not have jobs, girlfriends, or lives outside of
> usenet, chided other ngs for their lack of posting activity.
>
> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's fans
> may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked, almost in
> unison, "what is that?"

Well done!
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"BobInBoulder" <binb.DeleteThis@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com...
> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>
> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part of a
> week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior in
> activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed 30-year old
> living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun in 4-years but
> has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the superhighway, asbbr
> members, most of whom do not have jobs, girlfriends, or lives outside of
> usenet, chided other ngs for their lack of posting activity.
>
> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's fans
> may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked, almost in
> unison, "what is that?"

One man fan base is expunged by the *ignore* option. Ending his reign of
terror in enemy newsgroup. PLONK.
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

Is this the real BobInBoulder. I mean, the 850KOA guy? If so, you sir, rock.
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"Dano" <janeanddano DeleteThis @yahoo.com> wrote in
news:4Jydnf6fNojDX73anZ2dnUVZ_oGjnZ2d@comcast.com:

>
> One man fan base is expunged by the *ignore* option. Ending his reign
> of terror in enemy newsgroup. PLONK.


People like Bob crack me up, admonishing NG posters for being geeks with no
lives while posting on NGs. Hilariously ironic...
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"Dr. Winston O'Boogie" <quarrymen4.DeleteThis@bellsouth.net> wrote in
news:aZ3Ui.162$jG4.183475@news.sisna.com:

>
> I know where you're coming from with this. As a hockey town, Tampa Bay
> would never be first in anyone's mind. attendance at Lightning games
> is unbelievable, a few seasons ago they set an attendance mark for a
> playoff game, with something like 27,000 people. Granted they used to
> play at the Thunder Dome in St. Petersburg, now known as Tropicana
> field, where the Tampa Bay D-Rays play. The have done quite well at
> the St.Pete Times Forum, which strangely enough is located in downtown
> Tampa.


And I remember discussing this with Tampa fans during the Cup run too.
Hell, I have talked about it with Carolina fans too. Tampa has done a good
job the last couple of years, and it looks like hockey has taken hold
there...but in terms of attendance they were middle of the pack or below
before the Cup win.

Don't even get me started about Carolina as an NHL town.
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"smacdo" <fake.RemoveThis@nospam.com> wrote in message
news:Xns99D4858E172B1fakenospamcom@216.221.81.119...
> "Dr. Winston O'Boogie" <quarrymen4.RemoveThis@bellsouth.net> wrote in
> news:aZ3Ui.162$jG4.183475@news.sisna.com:
>
>>
>> I know where you're coming from with this. As a hockey town, Tampa Bay
>> would never be first in anyone's mind. attendance at Lightning games
>> is unbelievable, a few seasons ago they set an attendance mark for a
>> playoff game, with something like 27,000 people. Granted they used to
>> play at the Thunder Dome in St. Petersburg, now known as Tropicana
>> field, where the Tampa Bay D-Rays play. The have done quite well at
>> the St.Pete Times Forum, which strangely enough is located in downtown
>> Tampa.
>
>
> And I remember discussing this with Tampa fans during the Cup run too.
> Hell, I have talked about it with Carolina fans too. Tampa has done a
> good
> job the last couple of years, and it looks like hockey has taken hold
> there...but in terms of attendance they were middle of the pack or below
> before the Cup win.
>
> Don't even get me started about Carolina as an NHL town.

Especially since it isn't even a town. Or a state, for that matter. What
is up with that?
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"BobInBoulder" <binb.TakeThisOut@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in
news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com:

> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>
> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part
> of a week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior
> in activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed
> 30-year old living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun
> in 4-years but has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the
> superhighway, asbbr members, most of whom do not have jobs,
> girlfriends, or lives outside of usenet, chided other ngs for their
> lack of posting activity.
>
> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's
> fans may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked,
> almost in unison, "what is that?"


Very amusing Bob. But I can tell you that I *do* have a life, a job, I own
my own home, my mother has been dead for several years, and I am married
happily.

In fact, I normally don't bother going into these details, but the job I
have carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. If you have travelled
in an aircraft overseas anytime in the last six or seven years, I have
likely had your life directly in my hands.

Oh, and I am actually older than 30 but less than 40.

But other than that...bang on. And it still doesn't change the fact that
Denver isn't a baseball town. Its a football town, and a pretty good
hockey town. Like I said, there is no shame in jumping on a bandwagon, it
happens all the time. The shame is in acting like you have been there all
along.
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"smacdo" <fake RemoveThis @nospam.com> wrote in message
news:Xns99D47D862D391fakenospamcom@216.221.81.119...
> "BobInBoulder" <binb RemoveThis @noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in
> news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com:
>
>> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>>
>> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
>> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part
>> of a week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior
>> in activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed
>> 30-year old living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun
>> in 4-years but has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the
>> superhighway, asbbr members, most of whom do not have jobs,
>> girlfriends, or lives outside of usenet, chided other ngs for their
>> lack of posting activity.
>>
>> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
>> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's
>> fans may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked,
>> almost in unison, "what is that?"
>
>
> Very amusing Bob.

That was my only intent.

But I can tell you that I *do* have a life, a job, I own
> my own home, my mother has been dead for several years, and I am married
> happily.
>
> In fact, I normally don't bother going into these details, but the job I
> have carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. If you have travelled
> in an aircraft overseas anytime in the last six or seven years, I have
> likely had your life directly in my hands.
>
> Oh, and I am actually older than 30 but less than 40.

And I was of course kidding with my post. I worked for Boeing for 12 years,
commercial, and saw the world on their dime. So thanks, for whatever you
do. Not a bad gig at all. But I am currently posting this from my mother's
basement.

>
> But other than that...bang on. And it still doesn't change the fact that
> Denver isn't a baseball town. Its a football town, and a pretty good
> hockey town. Like I said, there is no shame in jumping on a bandwagon, it
> happens all the time. The shame is in acting like you have been there all
> along.

I haven't been there all along. I don't like baseball. But Denver does.
As evidenced by their history. Unprecedented history in MLB. That is my
main point. None of the other cities you mentioned hold MLB attendance
records. Denver does.
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"BobInBoulder" <binb RemoveThis @noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
news:13i1guu67tu37e7@corp.supernews.com...
>
> "smacdo" <fake RemoveThis @nospam.com> wrote in message
> news:Xns99D47D862D391fakenospamcom@216.221.81.119...
>> "BobInBoulder" <binb RemoveThis @noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in
>> news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com:
>>
>>> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>>>
>>> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
>>> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part
>>> of a week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior
>>> in activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed
>>> 30-year old living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun
>>> in 4-years but has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the
>>> superhighway, asbbr members, most of whom do not have jobs,
>>> girlfriends, or lives outside of usenet, chided other ngs for their
>>> lack of posting activity.
>>>
>>> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
>>> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's
>>> fans may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked,
>>> almost in unison, "what is that?"
>>
>>
>> Very amusing Bob.
>
> That was my only intent.
>
> But I can tell you that I *do* have a life, a job, I own
>> my own home, my mother has been dead for several years, and I am married
>> happily.
>>
>> In fact, I normally don't bother going into these details, but the job I
>> have carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. If you have
>> travelled
>> in an aircraft overseas anytime in the last six or seven years, I have
>> likely had your life directly in my hands.
>>
>> Oh, and I am actually older than 30 but less than 40.
>
> And I was of course kidding with my post. I worked for Boeing for 12
> years, commercial, and saw the world on their dime. So thanks, for
> whatever you do. Not a bad gig at all. But I am currently posting this
> from my mother's basement.
>
>>
>> But other than that...bang on. And it still doesn't change the fact that
>> Denver isn't a baseball town. Its a football town, and a pretty good
>> hockey town. Like I said, there is no shame in jumping on a bandwagon,
>> it
>> happens all the time. The shame is in acting like you have been there
>> all
>> along.
>
> I haven't been there all along.


> I don't like baseball.


Then go away and pay attention to the Broncos.
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"Fred Burton" <fburton.DeleteThis@biteme2.com> wrote in message
news:ffqhdk$gvq$1@pyrite.mv.net...
>
> "BobInBoulder" <binb.DeleteThis@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
> news:13i1guu67tu37e7@corp.supernews.com...
>>
>> "smacdo" <fake.DeleteThis@nospam.com> wrote in message
>> news:Xns99D47D862D391fakenospamcom@216.221.81.119...
>>> "BobInBoulder" <binb.DeleteThis@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in
>>> news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com:
>>>
>>>> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>>>>
>>>> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
>>>> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part
>>>> of a week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior
>>>> in activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed
>>>> 30-year old living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun
>>>> in 4-years but has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the
>>>> superhighway, asbbr members, most of whom do not have jobs,
>>>> girlfriends, or lives outside of usenet, chided other ngs for their
>>>> lack of posting activity.
>>>>
>>>> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
>>>> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's
>>>> fans may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked,
>>>> almost in unison, "what is that?"
>>>
>>>
>>> Very amusing Bob.
>>
>> That was my only intent.
>>
>> But I can tell you that I *do* have a life, a job, I own
>>> my own home, my mother has been dead for several years, and I am married
>>> happily.
>>>
>>> In fact, I normally don't bother going into these details, but the job I
>>> have carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. If you have
>>> travelled
>>> in an aircraft overseas anytime in the last six or seven years, I have
>>> likely had your life directly in my hands.
>>>
>>> Oh, and I am actually older than 30 but less than 40.
>>
>> And I was of course kidding with my post. I worked for Boeing for 12
>> years, commercial, and saw the world on their dime. So thanks, for
>> whatever you do. Not a bad gig at all. But I am currently posting this
>> from my mother's basement.
>>
>>>
>>> But other than that...bang on. And it still doesn't change the fact
>>> that
>>> Denver isn't a baseball town. Its a football town, and a pretty good
>>> hockey town. Like I said, there is no shame in jumping on a bandwagon,
>>> it
>>> happens all the time. The shame is in acting like you have been there
>>> all
>>> along.
>>
>> I haven't been there all along.
>
>
>> I don't like baseball.
>
>
> Then go away and pay attention to the Broncos.
>

You non-baseball fan bigot!
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"Fred Burton" <fburton.DeleteThis@biteme2.com> wrote in message
news:ffqhdk$gvq$1@pyrite.mv.net...
>
> "BobInBoulder" <binb.DeleteThis@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
> news:13i1guu67tu37e7@corp.supernews.com...
>>
>> "smacdo" <fake.DeleteThis@nospam.com> wrote in message
>> news:Xns99D47D862D391fakenospamcom@216.221.81.119...
>>> "BobInBoulder" <binb.DeleteThis@noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in
>>> news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com:
>>>
>>>> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>>>>
>>>> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
>>>> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part
>>>> of a week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior
>>>> in activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed
>>>> 30-year old living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun
>>>> in 4-years but has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the
>>>> superhighway, asbbr members, most of whom do not have jobs,
>>>> girlfriends, or lives outside of usenet, chided other ngs for their
>>>> lack of posting activity.
>>>>
>>>> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
>>>> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's
>>>> fans may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked,
>>>> almost in unison, "what is that?"
>>>
>>>
>>> Very amusing Bob.
>>
>> That was my only intent.
>>
>> But I can tell you that I *do* have a life, a job, I own
>>> my own home, my mother has been dead for several years, and I am married
>>> happily.
>>>
>>> In fact, I normally don't bother going into these details, but the job I
>>> have carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. If you have
>>> travelled
>>> in an aircraft overseas anytime in the last six or seven years, I have
>>> likely had your life directly in my hands.
>>>
>>> Oh, and I am actually older than 30 but less than 40.
>>
>> And I was of course kidding with my post. I worked for Boeing for 12
>> years, commercial, and saw the world on their dime. So thanks, for
>> whatever you do. Not a bad gig at all. But I am currently posting this
>> from my mother's basement.
>>
>>>
>>> But other than that...bang on. And it still doesn't change the fact
>>> that
>>> Denver isn't a baseball town. Its a football town, and a pretty good
>>> hockey town. Like I said, there is no shame in jumping on a bandwagon,
>>> it
>>> happens all the time. The shame is in acting like you have been there
>>> all
>>> along.
>>
>> I haven't been there all along.
>
>
>> I don't like baseball.
>
>
> Then go away and pay attention to the Broncos.
>
>

That's EXACTLY why you killfile trolls like that.
 >> Stay informed about: Idea for an Onion Article 

"BobInBoulder" <binb RemoveThis @noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
news:13i1ic777rq1i8e@corp.supernews.com...
>
> "Fred Burton" <fburton RemoveThis @biteme2.com> wrote in message
> news:ffqhdk$gvq$1@pyrite.mv.net...
>>
>> "BobInBoulder" <binb RemoveThis @noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in message
>> news:13i1guu67tu37e7@corp.supernews.com...
>>>
>>> "smacdo" <fake RemoveThis @nospam.com> wrote in message
>>> news:Xns99D47D862D391fakenospamcom@216.221.81.119...
>>>> "BobInBoulder" <binb RemoveThis @noneofyourbusiness.com> wrote in
>>>> news:13i1g6b1qvvp787@corp.supernews.com:
>>>>
>>>>> Our Newsgroup Kicks Your Newsgroup's Ass
>>>>>
>>>>> Members of asbbr, not satisfied with being fans of a team that will
>>>>> probably win their second WS title in 4 years, spent the better part
>>>>> of a week gloating over the fact that their newsgroup was so superior
>>>>> in activity to any of their foes. Led by "smacdo," an unemployed
>>>>> 30-year old living in his mother's basement who has not seen the sun
>>>>> in 4-years but has been plugged in to the rest of the world via the
>>>>> superhighway, asbbr members, most of whom do not have jobs,
>>>>> girlfriends, or lives outside of usenet, chided other ngs for their
>>>>> lack of posting activity.
>>>>>
>>>>> "That team obviously has no fan base," snarled smacdo. "Have you seen
>>>>> their ng? It is dead over there, man." When told that other team's
>>>>> fans may actually have something called a "life," asbbr fans asked,
>>>>> almost in unison, "what is that?"
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Very amusing Bob.
>>>
>>> That was my only intent.
>>>
>>> But I can tell you that I *do* have a life, a job, I own
>>>> my own home, my mother has been dead for several years, and I am
>>>> married
>>>> happily.
>>>>
>>>> In fact, I normally don't bother going into these details, but the job
>>>> I
>>>> have carries a tremendous amount of responsibility. If you have
>>>> travelled
>>>> in an aircraft overseas anytime in the last six or seven years, I have
>>>> likely had your life directly in my hands.
>>>>
>>>> Oh, and I am actually older than 30 but less than 40.
>>>
>>> And I was of course kidding with my post. I worked for Boeing for 12
>>> years, commercial, and saw the world on their dime. So thanks, for
>>> whatever you do. Not a bad gig at all. But I am currently posting this
>>> from my mother's basement.
>>>
>>>>
>>>> But other than that...bang on. And it still doesn't change the fact
>>>> that
>>>> Denver isn't a baseball town. Its a football town, and a pretty good
>>>> hockey town. Like I said, there is no shame in jumping on a bandwagon,
>>>> it
>>>> happens all the time. The shame is in acting like you have been there
>>>> all
>>>> along.
>>>
>>> I haven't been there all along.
>>
>>
>>> I don't like baseball.
>>
>>
>> Then go away and pay attention to the Broncos.
>>
>
> You non-baseball fan bigot!
>

Not at all. I like many other sports as well. But if I did hate a
particular
sport, I wouldn't make pest of myself in a NG for that sport as you are
doing.
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